I am a blogging slacker

So, I have been a total slacker with this blog. It started off so well. And I used to write about all the things I cooked. Well, I barely cook anymore. And then I wrote about being pregnant, and I am not that anymore either. And I don't want to make this all about my kid either.

Yesterday, i forgot my own phone number. I was responding to a message on my cell phone from one of my girlfriends. When I was leaving her the message, I said to call me back on my home phone, and when I started to give her the number, I drew a complete and total blank. And that was it, I just told her, " I don't know, I forgot my phone number, you can call the cell".

I did my "25 random things" about me on my facebook page. And I have been thinking about what to write all week long. I find it sad that I seriously have to contemplate these things.

I am sick of being cooped up in the house, but I am so loathing going back to work. And sometimes I wonder if I am in jeopardy of losing my job by being out. I know they cant lay me off when I am on maternity leave, but once that is over and I take vacation time...then it becomes risky. Not that I wouldn't jump at the chance to be a stay at home mom, I would but I know we cant afford it right now.

I would give anything to stay at home. I never thought I would. But now that I have this little Jr Mcnugget, I want nothing more. So all of our funds are going to pay off bills. that is the end of it. The more debt we can pay off, the closer I am to staying home. And of course saving 6 months income. Although, I would seriously have to consider what would happen to my retirement.....

for lego lovers

so cool:

http://www.gadgetvenue.com/lego-digital-camera-01133911/

Things are getting better

So things are getting better. Dairy very well could have been the culprit, but it is still hard to tell. At the same time I started to cut out dairy, we also started elevating her crib mattress, keep her much more upright most of the time, and some other measures. So I cant say for sure. But I do miss my cheese.

We went to the mall today with grandma. Of course, she did good until she had to get back into the snowsuit and the car seat. Screaming bloody murder through the mall, and in the middle of JC Penney, while she is going bezerker, an old man stops us to oogle and laugh about her screaming. Urgh. So irritating.

People have told me that strangers stop us because she is a cute baby, that if she was ugly they would look and keep walking. And that people in general like babies. However, I don't like people.

We did get a really stinking cute outfit at Children's place though.

cheese is the enemy

I think my kid may have reflux, and the only thing that I consistently eat is cheese and yogurt. seriously, i hope that is the reason for the constant projectile vomiting and constant crying.

If that isn't the cause.... then I just don't know.

alone

I went to the grocery store today. Alone. For the first time in 3 weeks I left the house without my child in my sight.

Everyone tells me "make sure you get some you time", "make sure you get out of the house and do things alone". I have to tell you - I hated every single minute of it. I hated not being around my kid. Not seeing her. Not hearing her. Not knowing what she was doing.

I even called my husband in the middle of shopping to ask what she was doing. She was asleep. Seriously. That is all I missed - sleep. Something that happens almost all day long.

I am pathetic. But I cant help it. I have 2 short months, then I go back to work, and then suddenly 12 years will have gone by and I will have no clue what happened to the time.

I am pathetic, I know. And I never knew I could be this sappy. But alas, it has happened.