slightly agoraphobic?

I am starting to wonder if I may be just a little bit agoraphobic. My world is getting smaller and smaller, by my choice, and if given the opportunity, I usually want to be home.
I realized this when I was getting my hair cut this morning. I went to a new hairdresser, here in Irondequoit. And it dawned on me that my bank, my grocery store, my home, my hairdresser, my child's pediatrician, my child's day care, my eye doctor, and now my job are all in the town I live in.

And then I started to think about all the opportunities I have to get out with the world, and I would rather stay home. For example:
going to the movies vs. watching at home = Home
going out to eat vs. take out = Home
shopping at the mall vs. ordering online = Home
going to a crowded amusement park vs. a walk around my neighborhood & reading a good book = Home
going to a friend's house vs. being home with my family = Home
holidays at the family's or at my house = Home

You get the picture. This really hit home (no pun intended) tonight for me though, when we agreed to watch our neighbor (and good friend)'s children when they were at a family wedding. I had to pack my daughter up to go to their house. And granted, it was bedtime. But she had an amazing day today, all giggles and smiles and jumping and climbing. And then she was miserable when we left, she was miserable when we were there, and she was miserable when i finally decided to leave and drive home. And the minute I took her out of the truck and started to walk into the house, she stopped crying and calmed right down. She knew she was home.

So, this begs the question.... is this getting to be a little bit of agoraphobia or am I just being overly sensitive?

addicted

I recently read an article about how stay at home moms and new moms are becoming addicted to the Internet, mostly because it is their link to the world outside of the house. I can totally see this. But what is more interesting is that psychiatrists are considering this to be a diagnosable mental illness. I wonder how many people I know would be diagnosed besides myself....

http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Work--Family/3-Reasons-Moms-Are-Addicted-to-the-Internet

(and yes, Parenting magazine has become my periodical of choice these days.)

so unprofessional

I am so unprofessional. Really. I had a job interview scheduled for this morning at 11:45. Then yesterday, i got a call for an interview at 1:00 for the job I actually want. So, I called and rescheduled the first one for Wednesday. I feel pretty stupid about it, but at the same time, I want the other job more. Of course, it reminds me of the bad resume I saw recently on a friend's site (http://www.zieak.com) and how unprofessional people are. I have to admit, if I was the hiring manager, i would think twice about hiring me.

be careful what you wish for

so all I wanted was to stay home with my baby girl when I was faced with returning to work. Since being laid off (you know, the other day...) all I can think about is getting another job. Apparently there is no way to be satisfied.
In truth, i haven't even looked at our budget to see if I could stay home. I suppose it would be entirely possible with cutting back, but would I really want to just pay the bills only? I suppose I like the ability to buy things when I want them. Not that I am a gigantic spender by any means, but I like to not be broke all the time.
I have applied for 11 jobs since being laid off on Thursday. Now, whether or not I get a call is another story. We shall see.

looks like we made it....

we made it through our first day... my baby girl's first day at day care and my first day back at work. I wont lie, it was serious trauma. i cried the whole way back to work. But once I was there, it was pretty much back to normal, I had an 8 o clock meeting. I am only doing half days this week, and then next week it is back full time. But, she did great when she was there, and I managed.
I will say this. having a kiddo means schlepping around A LOT of stuff. I had the diaper bag, my giant pump (in its own bag), my shoes, my breakfast (and eventually lunch too), my purse, and of course the baby. Along with winter coats and boots. Thank God I was only travelling across the street!
hopefully tomorrow will go as smoothly. now she is asleep as I write this, and soon it will be bath and hopefully bedtime. I dont want a long night, i am more tired than ever.

use your imagination

pretend you have a light colored carpet in your living room. And you are going to be having about 30 people over for a little luncheon party get together celebratory kind of thing. But you want to save money and have it be as easy as possible to prepare since you wont be around in the morning to get things set up. So would you get pizza and run the risk of people getting it on the carpet, or would you spend more money and get subs?

death and taxes (ok, no death...just taxes)

Can i just say I love doing my taxes? I get so much satisfaction from doing them myself, and I get even greater satisfaction when we get a decent return. I wasn't sure when I was going to be able to get them done, but was able to get it all done this morning. a fabulous start to my weekend!

I am a blogging slacker

So, I have been a total slacker with this blog. It started off so well. And I used to write about all the things I cooked. Well, I barely cook anymore. And then I wrote about being pregnant, and I am not that anymore either. And I don't want to make this all about my kid either.

Yesterday, i forgot my own phone number. I was responding to a message on my cell phone from one of my girlfriends. When I was leaving her the message, I said to call me back on my home phone, and when I started to give her the number, I drew a complete and total blank. And that was it, I just told her, " I don't know, I forgot my phone number, you can call the cell".

I did my "25 random things" about me on my facebook page. And I have been thinking about what to write all week long. I find it sad that I seriously have to contemplate these things.

I am sick of being cooped up in the house, but I am so loathing going back to work. And sometimes I wonder if I am in jeopardy of losing my job by being out. I know they cant lay me off when I am on maternity leave, but once that is over and I take vacation time...then it becomes risky. Not that I wouldn't jump at the chance to be a stay at home mom, I would but I know we cant afford it right now.

I would give anything to stay at home. I never thought I would. But now that I have this little Jr Mcnugget, I want nothing more. So all of our funds are going to pay off bills. that is the end of it. The more debt we can pay off, the closer I am to staying home. And of course saving 6 months income. Although, I would seriously have to consider what would happen to my retirement.....

peanutty

the peanut has arrived. and she is pretty freaking great.

BORING

So, I have been taken out of work officially. And no progress on this baby coming out any time soon. So here I sit. Bored out of my skull. And I have only been home a day and a half. So far, I have watched two movies, read half a book, and did all of my 2008 filing. Tomorrow, I am contemplating writing a cookbook....

Actually, it is one that I started some time ago and now it sits on our old computer and I need a download of Adobe to finish it, hoping a free trial will suffice.

This is going to be a long two weeks if this baby doesn't come before the due date.

Ramen Noodles

I really love ramen noodles. and with 20 days left to go in my pregnancy, suddenly I have cravings. For fruit salad and ramen noodles. Not together of course. But still random.

PURE LUX

I spent this afternoon at the spa. I am not usually one to spend a whole day on this kind of stuff, but it was SO AMAZING! Expensive, but so worth every penny.

I went to the Delmonte Spa in Pittsford. It was glorious. Giant plush bathrobes & slippers. Fireplace in the "sanctuary" where you wait. 6-head showers, dry sauna, herbal tea, water and fresh fruit... glorious.

I had a 50 minute pregnancy massage (wishing the whole time I could be on my stomach having a real massage...) and an 80 minute pedicure.

So insanely fabulous. I can see myself wanting to go there a lot.

i can leave

I have a car seat now, so at least they will allow me to leave the hospital when they boot me out the door to take care of another life.....

today

This morning I got a haircut. I may have mentioned in the past that my hairdresser of like 5 years moved to NC, and subsequently I needed to find a new place to get a haircut. This morning I went to a place here in town. I was somewhat skeptical but it wasn't horrible. There were quite a few old ladies in there, I am pretty sure I was the youngest actually. And of course, since they do nails in there too, it REEKED of chemicals. But all in all, the haircut wasn't bad and I guess I would go back. I am WAY low maintenance when it comes to haircuts, so it doesn't matter that much really. However, I found it odd when I made the appointment that they didn't tell me that they didn't take credit or debit since each person owns their own chair or whatever. So I had to go across the street to the ATM. not that big of a deal, but awkward.

And, my car broke. It was pouring rain, all day, and my wipers were working on the way to the hairdresser, but on the way back, apparently they decided to break. The driver's side wiper has decided it doesn't want to go up anymore. So one more thing to take the car in for. stupid car.

What else. My mother came over, as did my father, we went out to lunch, and subsequently I got no housework done today since they lingered. annoying.

seriously? Sell out to the NFL?

So, for some weeks now, I have noticed a very prevalent commercial being played during the football games. An NFL commercial to be specific. With the catchy music of....MORRISSEY ?!?!

Now, I would consider Morrissey to be moody, brooding, dark, not to mention British. Not at all someone who would be a supporter, watcher, or even someone who would have a clue about the NFL.

I was a big fan of "Everyday is like Sunday" actually. And to hear it repeatedly in a commercial for the NFL is slightly unnerving.

Is he really that desperate now that he would have to sell out to the NFL? Disappointing.

I've been threatened

So, I have been threatened with bed rest. Not something I am at all interested in. Here is the deal. My blood pressure is creeping up slowly, however I still have like 8 weeks left or more. So.....if I don't want to be on bed rest or medications or both, then i have to be on "pseudo rest".

Basically I can go to work, but I have been told to slow down significantly. The doctor said these exact words: "If you have the choice between doing housework and watching TV, choose watching TV". Now I know, many of you would think that is luxurious. But if you know me at all, you know that is not an option for me whatsoever. I need to be busy. I have literally had something going on every night of the week for the last 3 weeks, and this tends to be my norm.

So, this is going to be a very big struggle.

slacker updates

Ok, so I have been a slacker lately when it comes to blogging. I was doing so well there for a while....
Anyway - here is what is new:
-Big Dog got married, Home Slice says he is now on his way to becoming a lap dog. He is much less interesting to me.
-My husband got roped into coaching JV girls volleyball. They aren't all that bad actually. One of the Varsity mothers however is very bitter she didn't get his job, and mentions it every game I have been to. And yes, she is aware I am his wife.
-I went all domestic this weekend and made and froze 12 meals for when the baby comes. Perhaps that is what they consider nesting? One of the things I made was chicken & dumplings, and it tasted so good, I am disappointed I froze it. I will have to make it again sooner rather than later.
-I have become somewhat obsessed with this election, Tina Fey does an AWESOME Sarah Palin, and I cant wait for the debates so I can actually hear about issues.
-I never sleep through the night any more, and everyone thinks it is hilarious to tell me that it is just practice for later.....However I am mean and evil and a crybaby and not myself if I don't sleep, and I don't need practice for later, I need sleep to make it through the day now.
-I have enough clothes to keep this unborn kid covered for the next 12 years. However, I have nothing for her to sleep on. Or ride in. Or swing in. Or really, do anything else besides be clothed.
- 5 of my close friends, along with me, having babies in the next year. Kind of a boom in procreation.
-Winds keep breaking off parts of the tree in the back yard. I just wish that it would take off some limbs on the other side so that it would be even.

I guess that is all for now.

i'm a cheater

I have been going to the same Polish butcher for my whole life (European Meat Products & Deli). It is where my Babcia shopped when she lived here, and it is where my dad always goes, and it is where I started to go a few years ago. But today, I had to go to another shop to get my Babcia something specific that the regular one does not carry. And when I went to the new place (Polska Chata), I found that in addition to a plethora of delicious smoked pork products, they had all sorts of homemade baked goods, and homemade golobki, and homemade pierogi. All things i know how to make but take too much work to cook for two people. So for dinner I got a little sausage and some golobki, and it was FANTASTIC. And, it turns out they are renovating the upstairs to have seating for a restaurant. Could be deadly for us, we may become frequent customers....

insomnia

I woke up again in the middle of the night again, unable to get back to sleep.

This isn't all that unusual these days. But what really stinks is I lie in bed, worrying about everything. My job at a failing company and what kind of a humongous pay cut I would take it I had to leave and work elsewhere. I think about our finances. We aren't in bad shape, better than most Americans I would actually guess, but still not enough to make myself feel comfortable. i even worry about where we are going to move furniture since we have run out of rooms to move things and store things and I am just too pregnant to move boxes and furniture and go through storage items to determine what we need and what we can get rid of.

It's 5 am and I have already surfed the net, read the newspaper, watched the end of the men's gold medal basketball game (which oddly enough my husband woke up for at 4 am and came downstairs to watch, and then returned to bed, all without an alarm), played some majhong, and now I am typing this. I was contemplating unloading the dishwasher, but I think it would make too much noise.

And, I am hungry, and eating at 5 am when out of your schedule isn't really a good thing. not to mention, we don't have anything all that good in the fridge.

urgh, i hate this. what I hate the most though is I have my family coming over this afternoon. Since I am the only one with a backyard, I was asked to host a picnic for my dad's new girlfriend. woo hoo. which means I am going to have to be "on" today and with a lack of sleep, that may be difficult.

ok, i am going to get some orange juice and try to doze off while watching endless infomercials on my poor people no cable television.

geez, thanks, dad

My father has out of control allergies. Shots year round. eyes swollen shut in the summer. can't eat peaches or cherries. you get the idea.

and he so graciously shared this genetic trait with me.

and this season has been particularly horrible for me, particularly with the weeds.

and now i have the asthmatic cough that is so insanely annoying. In previous years, when the coughing came, I needed an inhaler. This year, I need the inhaler but cant use it. So, i suffer, as do all of those around me. So if you are around to hear the hacking, i apologize. If not, count yourself as lucky.